Memories of the Wind.
Monday, December 25, 2006
Xmas. a season for love.
Wishing everyone a merry xmas!!
Sighs. Frankly speaking, I am unable to feel the joyous season at all. Maybe it is my own emotional self bugging me again. But, compared to the joy and excitement during Xmas when I was young, this season is sorely lacking and I somehow have the feeling of being lost somewhere, alone out there.
When I was young, Xmas was one of the holidays I really look forward to. Firstly, I would follow my mum to go and admire all the Xmas light ups. They really look magnificent and the Xmas feeling simply reverberates through me. I could really feel it!
Then, me and my bro will eagerly anticipate the arrival of Santa Claus. We will keep watch by the door, or look through the window, to see if he will dash through they sky with Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. However, our dreams are always dashed. Nevertheless, we will always have our Xmas presents in the form of Ferrero Rocher (dunno how to spell) in the morning.
We continued with this tradition, until it died off quite suddenly. I supposed the harsh truth is: we are too old for that. We knew mum was Santa. And one year, there were no more chocolates. Xmas was not the same after that.
More recently to this festive season, I find myself more and more aloof from my mum. Quarrels from morning till night, from night till morning. I know I am an evil son, a bad son, am unfilial son. It spoils my mood somehow..
And today's dinner with Miss K and Vv though satisfying in terms of laughter, I really really feel a bit lost. Joy seems to be all around me, yet not really resonating in my heart. Is 3 people not enough to spread some warmth around? Or am I too demanding? Do I need a truckload of people to fill my cup?
Nah.. I only need some soul.
Everyone around me really seems to enjoy this Xmas. And on my way home, I passed by this group of youngsters who were high on alchohol. Oooh. They wished me merry Xmas. I was obliging and reciprocated warmly by wishing them back with a wide grin and a merry smile.
I am really thankful for that. Yah and thanks for all the Xmas greetings that came in the form of messages! Awww so sweet! I am being remembered. Haha.
And I like being appreciated for my efforts, no matter how small the gesture is.
And wishing everyone a Happy New Year!
Sighs. Frankly speaking, I am unable to feel the joyous season at all. Maybe it is my own emotional self bugging me again. But, compared to the joy and excitement during Xmas when I was young, this season is sorely lacking and I somehow have the feeling of being lost somewhere, alone out there.
When I was young, Xmas was one of the holidays I really look forward to. Firstly, I would follow my mum to go and admire all the Xmas light ups. They really look magnificent and the Xmas feeling simply reverberates through me. I could really feel it!
Then, me and my bro will eagerly anticipate the arrival of Santa Claus. We will keep watch by the door, or look through the window, to see if he will dash through they sky with Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. However, our dreams are always dashed. Nevertheless, we will always have our Xmas presents in the form of Ferrero Rocher (dunno how to spell) in the morning.
We continued with this tradition, until it died off quite suddenly. I supposed the harsh truth is: we are too old for that. We knew mum was Santa. And one year, there were no more chocolates. Xmas was not the same after that.
More recently to this festive season, I find myself more and more aloof from my mum. Quarrels from morning till night, from night till morning. I know I am an evil son, a bad son, am unfilial son. It spoils my mood somehow..
And today's dinner with Miss K and Vv though satisfying in terms of laughter, I really really feel a bit lost. Joy seems to be all around me, yet not really resonating in my heart. Is 3 people not enough to spread some warmth around? Or am I too demanding? Do I need a truckload of people to fill my cup?
Nah.. I only need some soul.
Everyone around me really seems to enjoy this Xmas. And on my way home, I passed by this group of youngsters who were high on alchohol. Oooh. They wished me merry Xmas. I was obliging and reciprocated warmly by wishing them back with a wide grin and a merry smile.
I am really thankful for that. Yah and thanks for all the Xmas greetings that came in the form of messages! Awww so sweet! I am being remembered. Haha.
And I like being appreciated for my efforts, no matter how small the gesture is.
And wishing everyone a Happy New Year!
Labels: The Emo Club.
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