Memories of the Wind.

I was a lizard perched on one corner of the wall, watchin with earnest intent the man who was lying on his bed. His eyes were distant; his face bitter as if he was holding a secret too heavy to bear; to share. He was a jailbird of his own emotions.

The man had earlier woke up to an ominous dream. In his dream, she had sunk to the abyss of vice and jumped willingly into bottomless pits of despair. He felt an impulse to protect her, yet he was too powerless to do anything. She did not respond to his calls, his desperate wails for her attention. He could only watch the entire episode unfolding right before his eyes.

In reality, they had drifted apart, like sure mists forming and rising, and dispersing in all that turbulence. He felt so much like a distant stranger at her door, secured by locks that have never been. Once, they have been connected by an emotional presence, now it went up like the mist. News of her, he heard through the voices of others.

..

..

I had known him well, yet I do not really know what he was thinking, all these years.

Labels: musings, random, strange, The Emo Club.

"You have grown thinner." or "Gosh, are u on a diet?" or "Whatever happened to you?"

Lines like that are a common trend recently.

I received similar comments from a couple of people the last 2 months and I came to conclude that there is a certain element of truth in these lines. Today, my brother's soon to be mother in law who has only seen me in a couple of meetings mentioned in a off remark that I have slimmed down.

As a matter of fact, I have shed several pounds and I am now able to slip into tigher pants. 28 inch jeans fit with a bit of space left..

A thought sunk in. Will I shrink and shrink, shrink and shrink till I vanish from this world?

Frequent stomach pains and strange sounds coming from my abdomen remind me of my mum's agony last time. It was a familiar source of worry when I see her suffering often at night but I could only watch helplessly.

It is a source of familarity for me to ponder.. I cannot procrastinate anymore. My stomach is giving me some trouble even now. I will see a doctor come next week.

And I keep on visualising myself at my death bed. I have bad vibes about this. However, it is a fact that life ends with death.

.
.
.
Sometimes, I just need to be convinced that I am not alone.


At the very least, I know I am not.

Labels: musings, note, strange

Coughing non-stop.

I am proving myself to be the bane of all cough syrups. And if my coughing doesn't stop real soon, the production of cough syrups will.

Ahhh. I had not tried any cough syrups in actual fact; I am just emphasizing the gravity of my illness.

LOL.

Forgive a person who has been sick for days. He's naturally not in the right state of mind.

Worse still..

I am now sneezing non-stop.

Labels: note, strange

I woke up today morning feeling strange and erratic. Events that happened years ago seemed to be fleeting before my eyes. And I wonder if that is a curse inflicted upon by the sleeping monster to those who hurt their body by confining themselves to limited quality time in lala land. I think i need to find a sanctuary in lala land soon..

~~

It is a misery that events of yesteryears just flashed across my mind like it was a blockbuster movie screening, the audio loud and clear, and the scenes intense and fiery sometimes. Beautiful and happy scenes came and go, and the sad stories continue. Though I want to go through them again physically, they stay as memories,and just like the stars in the skies, I cant reach them even if I tip-toe and stretch my hands high up.

Just paint my memories in a safe little box, and keep them safely in a safe place where safe people guard it. I do not want them to leave...

*Yawns.*

I am erroneous again. No interesting posts. Crappy. Just like my life and me.

Aieee... anyway, talking about boredom, I am listening to the same song over and over again. "The rainbow connection" is really nice.


~~~Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me.~~


Let me end it off with a rainbow pic, guys and gals, we will find the rainbow connection, believe me, believe yourself.

Labels: dreams, strange

Ran at night today, which was not routine at all for me. And hell of a run. Boy, this is one of the faster timings I ever recorded running this route. 42min. Judging from the speed which I am taking off, I probably clocked around 11min for every 2.4km. Which means...

Er...

Well, my brain is too dead to do any other possible calculations due to the sheer exhaustion suffered through the agony of a test and tuition today. It is way too complicated to work out how much distance I actually covered every run.

Dots..

Anyway, it was a really relaxing run with the cool breeze blowing against you and the tranquility that the night offers. And there was nothing to be afraid of when you ran at night. ...

Except.

~Scary music playing in the background~

Well, I got a bit freaked out during the last bit of my run. And I frankly think I am such a wimp.
While running on a well lit street nearing Queensway Sec, I spotted this petite Malay girl with a faint tattoo on her back about 10 metres in front of me. She was lashing out at the tree on her left by attempting to hit the leaves which were just at her eye level. As I passed her, I turned to look at her and she glared at me with almost bloodshot eyes.

She was obviously displeased with my interruption.

~heart lets out a bloodcurdling scream~

It was scary to be gazed upon by such hateful eyes. I still could faintly remember that look. Or am I simply too imaginative?

Anyway, I "sped" away with full speed after passing her, and my goose pimples broke out like nervous creatures escaping at random from a fire.

After speeding away from her for quite a long distance, I kept thinking if she might suddenly be just behind me if I turned around.

Totally freaked out by my own thoughts.

Am I thinking too much?

Labels: My spooky tales-, runs, strange

Keep on meeting strange people nowadays.

Well. The one I met today wasn't just strange. He is sick.

I was studying in Queenstown library with Mingzhi today morning when I had a slight tummy ache. Of course, the cure for it is to go to the toilet.

Well.. what was I thinking? I couldn't possibly go to a cafe right?

Er...

Anyway, there were 2 cubicles in the toilet but only the first one was usable. I could hear strange sounds coming out from the first one, which was apparently occupied. The person inside was muttering some strange things and he was constantly tearing toilet paper. And he was rubbing or wiping the paper against something and sometimes giving out strange aahs.

I keep on hearing something that sounds like "fantastic" or "1030" too.

All these according to my superb sense of hearing.

(Eh .. dumb. the toilet was quiet except for the mysterious person inside)

Then I heard the flushing of the toilet and the strange person was about to be unveiled.

He was a middle aged Indian man.

I got a shock when he came out. He did not have his pants on and he came straight up to me, his breath so close that I could probably see his nostril hairs. Then he said something that I could not make out at all and jerked his lower body back and front. Total shock!!
I retreated two steps back due to the dangerous state that I was in. Well, before I could marvel at my lightning reflexes, he commanded me in a firm voice to go into the toilet.

I meekly obliged, as if I were a poor private obeying a fearsome army commander. It was of course a stupidest decison. Don't you ever know? Do not follow instructions blindly. I felt as if I were commiting suicide.

I started to fear for my privacy and life as I was trapped in the 4 uncomforting walls of the toilet cubicle. The sicko? Outside the cubicle and rambling on. He kept on pressing the tap and left the water on while he tried to entertain me and possibly his only audience.

Haa. The clearest thing I heard was "Chelsea has many star players. One of the star players is~~~~

Drogbra."

That was stupid. I was peering towards the front, ears cocking in alert, wondering if he might just jump up and cling onto the toilet door to visually rape me.

In what seemed like eternity, I finally cleared my bowels.

*please heave a sign of relief for me*

Alas, my torment was yet to be over.

When I came out, the guy was apparently still playing with the taps. At least he got his pants on already, fortunately. I positioned myself farthest from him, as he was using the furthest tap on the right.

As I could not stand my curiosity, I turned my head slightly to observe him. This freak was so alert that he looked up at me and jumped a bit in his standing position. Then he started jerking his lower body forwards and backwards yet again.

THAT was the last straw.

I quickly went out of the toilet, and there was this chinese man who was about to go into the toilet too. He looked incredulous when he saw my face. He must have thought I had seen a ghost.

What a toilet outing.

Labels: strange

I saw the ridiculous new town sec guy again on the bus. No entertainment from him though. Not that I need any of his clown acts.

And today, my mum returns. Sad to say that I got into a needless and heated argument with my aunt. I do not want to make my mama unhappy but things have to turn out that way. My aunt is seriously limited in sensitivity. I can only keep mum.

Accompanying her tomorrow. *prays.*

Down..

And down..

And terribly down...

Turned into a landslide at night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friendship requires trust, I acknowledge that.

And you probably thought that I do not care about how you feel, yet.. have you ever put yourself in my shoes and consider my concerns?

Even if I am in the wrong. Even if things are not due to that.

We do not understand each other. Different sides to a jigsaw. Different parts of the world. Different planets. Different planetary systems. Different universe??

Lets stop at that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Labels: musings, strange

If you keep on thinking of ways to be happy and try to fulfill them, you find yourself stuck in the middle of nowhere, and that makes you sad.

Rather, just tell yourself you do not want to be sad no matter what the situation is, and you find yourself happy..

I am glad to be a normal person and stay contented with what I have.
...

There are plenty of strange people out there. Anyway, how do u gauge whether a person is strange? You measure his strangeness by your own yardstick or the norm right? At least for me. Because I believe I am strictly normal. Yet, I seem to find so many strange people out there that I am starting to believe I am the abnormal one.

..

Today, while on the bus, this upper sec male student from new town keep on turning his head to look at me. He was making ridiculous gestures and wildly throbbing his hands about in a bizarre fashion. When he realised that he captured my attention, he was visibly pleased and increased his speed of playing with his own hands in air.

Diaoz. Is that normal?

Labels: musings, strange

Saw our newly crowned Miss Singapore todae morning. (I am not goin to disclose where i met her; if u were really interested, juz contact me personally. Haa. Not goin to disclose her number to u anyway. :p) She's none other than Carol Cheong, an art director who holds a degree from Austrailia's Curtin University. She didnt really look that pretty in person, and i had trouble recognising her at first till i happened to overhear her conversation on phone regarding her chances in an international pageant. I must first declare that i am no eavesdropping maniac, but i got sufficient curiosity to satisfy knowing that our Miss Singapore was just sitting right behind me at that point of time. A beauty with brains to match, and a future representative in the world's most prestigious pageant is worth noting, my tiny pea brain figured. Haa. anyway, she left soon after i knocked off from mugging. .

Getting a bit sensitive to guys who has a slighest hint of a gay. Was standing very near to this queer looking guy who dressed like one. . Dun ask me how a gay should look like, i got no faintest idea. Anyone can be one to me. I was really fearful, having the notion that he might just pounce on me, or simply outrage my modesty. Perhaps i am getting too stressed up over the looming exams. ALL the gloom and doom. . Or i am somehow affected by the bizzare offer. . .

Labels: note, strange

It's often after runs everytime that i got the inspiration or rather the resources to blog. And this time was no different. . My ghost stories would have to wait for a while and i plead for patience from readers who are interested in the 'spook' theme to bide their time. FOr this is one interesting incident in the aftermath of a run.

After a 50min run, i was totally exhausted and seriously deprived of oxygen, gasping for air while i was waiting for the lift back home. But dear readers, i Wasnt so deprived of the basic living tool that what i was goin to relate later was just a bout of hallucinations. Haa. crap. Anyway, i was entirely drenched with perspiration that i seemed like i just came out from a shower except for the fact that i didnt smell too good with that extra bit of 'ammonia' stained on my body. Then, i was approached by a middle aged man who looked quite studious and refined. The conversation goes like this. .

Man:" Hi, may i ask u something?"

Me:" Hi! Yessh?"

Man points to a construction site near my house and asked:" Are they building new flats there?

Me with a blur look:" ??? Dunno."

Man asked seriously, with a look of interest:" Are u conservative or traditional?"

Me:" er. . neutral lor."

Man:" Hmmm, student? Which level?

Me:" Uni..

Man and me, blah blah for another 30secs. . .blah blah blah

At this juncture, i had absolutely no inkling where this mundane conversation is heading to. Initially i thought he was just asking for directions. But when he asked me whether i was conservative or traditional, i deviated from that and thought he might be an opposition party member or he was an insurance agent or watever la. All my guesses were wrong anyway.

Man gesticulated:" Ok, i would be straightfoward. I am a bisexual, and i like macho guys, especially ur type. I know u may not need the money, but i am offering you $100. U need not do anything, u just have to lie down, while i give u a whole body massage and service u like a king."

Me with an incredulous look and a wide grin:" Ha. NO THANKS."

Man pressed on with an air of invincibilty of a warrior and the glib of an experienced salesman who knew how to strut his stuff:" But u dun have to do anything, i would make u comfortable."

Me without a hint of hesitation:" HA. NO THANKS!"

End of conversation, a bye and the man left with a dejected and forlorn look.


MY THOUGHTS
Hmm, seriously i was not enticed at all by such an offer though, but come to think of it, i needed to work 27 hours as a cashier before i can earn that much. Haa. Joking la. But i wasnt angry with the person or think him as dirty as all. It was a legal transaction with no strings attached and he was not that persistent or stepping beyond the line, according to me la. Just a bizzare offer to me.

Labels: note, runs, strange